I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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