so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.