My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.