Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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