Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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