Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
