For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's never too late to be topless.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
