FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
