Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
