I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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