You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
