if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
