her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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