we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You made out with two different species that night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
