i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
