you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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