watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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