I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
