I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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