Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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