what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
