she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
