At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
