I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
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