I need help removing her.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
