Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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