Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
