She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
