plz talk dirty to me
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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