I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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