puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize