why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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