You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
