the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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