Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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