Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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