Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
