Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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