I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i drank out of a bidet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
