paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
they need to just BURY HIM!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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