the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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