White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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