I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
40s are totally the cure
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
