It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
