This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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