Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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