At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
