So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
