let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
