out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
