Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
