Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize