Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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