I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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