She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
