I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize