Non-Jews are for practice
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
