Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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