Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize